Spring Classes for Women

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Redfish-Joe, Aug 19, 2009.

  1. Redfish-Joe

    Redfish-Joe Senior Member

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    Spring Classes for Women at
    THE
    ADULT LEARNING CENTER

    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
    by Tuesday, May 11, 2009

    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


    Class 1
    Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
    Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

    Class 2
    Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Complaining About It for 3 Hours?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5
    Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    at 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
    Open Forum.
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8
    Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10
    How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11
    Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to Shop by Yourself.
    Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 13
    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 14
    The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
    Live Demonstration.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

     
  2. gator508

    gator508 Senior Member

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    Whew!!

    Good one, I just sent this to the little lady, hope I don't get stuffed when I get home.
     
  3. Redfish-Joe

    Redfish-Joe Senior Member

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    Maybe not ...but then:p
    And to the ladies of this forum... you know you all excell in the prescribed classes offered.:p
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2009
  4. marty03nighttrain

    marty03nighttrain Member

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    thanks for the great laugh!!! i will send this to my wife as well, hopefully she see the humor.
     
  5. RetiredJake

    RetiredJake Junior Member

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    I would love to send this to my wrfe, but she might cancel my trip. :lol
     
  6. 03classic

    03classic Junior Member

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    I gave it to my wife and she is taking it to her friends ther could be troble!
     
  7. highline

    highline Member

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    Stuck it up on the fridge.
     
  8. paulmack

    paulmack Active Member

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    Good one but not to tell the wife.