New Employee Assignments

[trike lady]

How to properly place new employees...this works!

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
4. Then analyze the situation:

a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
m. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.

 

[oldhippie]

How to properly place new employees...this works!

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
4. Then analyze the situation:

a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
m. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.

Good one. Had to laugh since I once worked for INCO mines up in northern Manitoba. My first day I had to move bricks from one floor to a lower level. They didn't tell me it was supposed to take me all day. An hour later I was done and the person in charge was miffed because then he had to find something else for me to do. (Yep, my first taste of a union shop)

 

[Joyflyin]

Good one. Had to laugh since I once worked for INCO mines up in northern Manitoba. My first day I had to move bricks from one floor to a lower level. They didn't tell me it was supposed to take me all day. An hour later I was done and the person in charge was miffed because then he had to find something else for me to do. (Yep, my first taste of a union shop)

Oldhippie, that is very similar to a story my husband told me about his first job in the carpenter's union....they needed so many boards cut to a certain length, so he stacked the boards together and would cut several at a time, he was done in about 30 minutes or so, then his boss told him not to work so fast. :s