A new teacher > was trying to make use of her psychology > courses. She started her class by saying, > 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' > After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The > teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little > Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you > standing there all by yourself!' > > > * * * * * * * * * * * > > > Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother > smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you > do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself > beautiful,' said his mother, who then began > removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the > matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?' > > > * * * * * * * * * * * > > > The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't > paying attention in class. She called on him and > said, > 'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Little > Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the > Cartoon Network!' > > * * * * * * * * * * * > > > Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field > trip to their local police station where they saw > pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 > most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters > pointed to a picture and asked if it really was > the photo of a wanted person.. 'Yes,' said the > policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to > capture him.. Little Johnny asked, " Why didn't > you keep him when you took his picture ? " > (this is my favorite) > > * * * * * * * * * * * > > > Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his > father. He watched as his father moved from > horse to horse, running his hands up and down > the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a > few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you > doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when > I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that > they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. > Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the > UPS guy wants to buy Mom .'