Laws of nature

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by gator508, Mar 15, 2012.

  1. gator508

    gator508 Senior Member

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    1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will have to wee.

    2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    3. Law of probability: The probability of ‘being watched’ is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning or soon thereafter, you will have a flat tire.

    6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (Happens every time).

    7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water or in the shower, the telephone rings.

    8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you do not want to be seen with.

    9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something, which will last until the coffee is cold.

    13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

    15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

    16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
     
  2. Dr. Dolittle

    Dr. Dolittle Experienced Member Staff Member Moderator Contributor

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    How true! I think I encounter at least one of these rules every single day!

    Luckily #19 hasn't happened yet as it relates to my discovering Harley's 5 years ago!
     
  3. Jeff Klarich

    Jeff Klarich Well-Known Member Contributor

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    How true is that, everything on the list has happen to me at least once!
     
  4. R_W_B

    R_W_B Senior Member

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    Wow those are some sure nuf proven facts.

    I'd say every one of um happens every time except possibly #17
     
  5. dbmg

    dbmg Experienced Member

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    Thanks for sharing Gator. I am amazed how much truth there is to your post.. Even #17.
    I have a brown pair of boots, and brown pants and hardly ever wear either...
     
  6. gator508

    gator508 Senior Member

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    Except for those occasions when my wife tells me I have to dress, it's white tennis shoes and black motorcycle boots.
     
  7. glgarrett

    glgarrett Active Member

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    20. The Law of Selective Gravitation: A tool or other object, when dropped will always fall in the direction to do the most damage. :)
     
  8. Adamal47

    Adamal47 Active Member

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    21. The Law of Perspective Timing: The more important a time sensitive appointment is, the slower roadway traffic will move.
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