Computers and Cars....

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by cedarbrook63, Jan 14, 2010.

  1. cedarbrook63

    cedarbrook63 Junior Member

    Hope you like this one -

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
    computers have enhanced our lives, read on:

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly compared the
    computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

    'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
    would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
    cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part ):

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
    buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
    would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
    shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
    continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
    your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
    have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
    reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
    be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation'
    warning light.

    I love the next one!!!

    7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?'
    before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
    and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
    handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn
    how to drive all over again be cause none of the controls would
    operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off

    PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you
    could call 'customer service' in some foreign
    country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

    NEWHD74FAN Experienced Member Retired Moderators

    Good one CB...I would like to add.

    11. An Engine Check light that would come on and stay on until
    mandatory updates are installed automatically only as a "Genuine
    Update package, at a Genine Dealer" least once a month.

    And finally the ultimate: a new better operating system (Engine)
    is offered/required every 7-10 years. No downward compatibility.
  3. jaceddie

    jaceddie Junior Member

    How true! :rofl
  4. LarryC08

    LarryC08 Active Member

    To cool, but so true!!!:cheers
  5. sprinklerfitter669

    sprinklerfitter669 Junior Member

    huh, i thought it was a joke ??? this should be in the truth section
  6. PaulWhite

    PaulWhite Active Member

    Sounds like some truth to me