An elderly man in Phoenix called his son in New York and said, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screamed. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," his father said. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." With that, he hung up. Frantic, the son called his sister, who exploded on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouted. "I'll take care of this." She called Phoenix immediately, and screamed at her father: "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hung up. The old man hung up the phone and turned to his wife. "Okay," he said, "They're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares."