you might be a rub if

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by roaddawg4life, Jan 29, 2008.

  1. roaddawg4life

    roaddawg4life Member

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    THE RUB TEST

    There has been a question that has puzzled man kind since the beginning of time:
    How to determine if you are a rub ?

    I have taken it upon myself to try to this Age old question .
    Below is a list of question that might help for you to figure out your rubdom.
    * Clothing makes the man*
    1)you might be a rub “if your saddle bags and your ol ladies purse both have the same Gucci tags on them.
    2)you might be a rub “if your leather costs more then your bike .
    3)you might be a rub “if your leather looks like something Elvis ,Elton john ,or Liberace wore in concert.
    4)you might be a rub “if your leather jacket has a little alligator on the chest.
    5)you might be a rub “if your Doberman wears a jeweled collar so you can wear his spike collar.
    6)you might be a rub “if your belt looks like batmans utility belt cause of all the electronics it has attached to it: cell phone, pager , PDA, I pod, etc.
    7)you might be a rub “if the weight of your bike went up 50 lbs do to the modifications to the wiring harness so you can operate all the electronics that’s attached to your belt.
    8)you might be a rub “if during the down season you throw away all your riding gear (leathers, harley- t’s, boots etc) cause in the spring time you have to buy new gear cause last seasons stuff is out of style.
    9)you might be a rub “if your ol lady wants to buy a bike of her own but cant find one that matches her earrings .
    10)you might be a rub “if your ol lady ask … you does these red hard bags make my butt look big?
    11)you might be a rub “if your ol lady sends out your helmet to have a small satellite dish mounted on the top and a 4 inch flat panel tv mounted to the back of your helmet so she don’t miss oprah when you are on a cruise.
    12)you might be a rub “if you have more harley emblems on your self and your clothes then is in the local harley shop.

    *RIDING EXPERIENCE*

    13)you might be a rub “if your idea of a iron butt ride is riding to the local starbucks with out your air hawk on the seat.
    14)you might be a rub “if your idea of a run is firing up the old Provo motor home, putting the bike in the trailer and hitting the road .
    15)you might be a rub “if you cant ride out side of the city limits, because you know there is no place to get a starbucks double latté on the road.
    16)you might be a rub “if the only miles you put on your bike is pushing it around in the garage so you can get out your hummer when you need to go some where.
    17)you might be a rub “if you want OCC to build your next every day rider.


    *GETTING PREPPED FOR THE LIFESTYLE*

    18)you might be a rub “if the day you decided you was going to be a biker, a few years back you was lounging around the ol brown stone watching the music awards when out on stage came pat boone all leathered up. You thought to your self that this guys has the right idea so because of him you became a biker and now refer to pat boone as the GOD FATHEROF THE BIKERS LIFE STYLE.
    19)you might be a rub “if you contacted the Rosetta stone company to see if they had any cds on how to speak biker.
    20)you might be a rub “if you think the guys at occ are cool and you want to hang out with mikey
    21)you might be a rub “if you and your riding group don’t have normal nick names like snake ,chain or biker bob, but have names like biff ,kippie ,gipper.
    22)you might be a rub”if your groups colors were made using the be dazzler.


    *THE BIKER BAR*

    23)you might be a rub “if you don’t go to biker bars cause they don’t have wifi for your lap top.
    24)you might be a rub “if you ride to the biker bar and set out on your running bike for 2 hours waiting for valet parking.
    25)you might be a rub “if you finally get off your bike just to walk in the door and stand there for another hour waiting to be seated.
    26)you might be a rub “if you freak when the bartender tells you THEY DON’T HAVE A COAT ROOM
    27)you might be a rub “if you ask to see their wine list .
    28)you might be a rub “if you try to impress the women at the bar by telling the bar tender to put your wine cooler in a dirty glass


    These are what I came up with to help gauge rubdom

    Now for myself roaddawg4life, and robin leach, we will see you next time on LIFE STYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS.

    One last note Rolex doesn’t make speedometers.
     
  2. Zamadan

    Zamadan Active Member

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    Wonder what would happen if you said yes for this one, (“if your ol lady ask … you does these red hard bags make my butt look big?)
     
  3. harleycindy

    harleycindy Member

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    don't tell her the truth unless you want to ride alone:s
     
  4. Zamadan

    Zamadan Active Member

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    "Is it OK if my mother stays with us for a month..."

    This kinda sounded like it was a personal past experience.
     
  5. roaddawg4life

    roaddawg4life Member

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    hobbit thats good i like bub that describes most of the riders i know you the man
     
  6. roaddawg4life

    roaddawg4life Member

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    dark knight im not trying to be sarcastic but i thought everone who rode knew what a RUB was
     
  7. roaddawg4life

    roaddawg4life Member

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    hay man you are right every body has to start someplace,myself i really was raised in to the life meaning my uncles ,grandfather rode old harleys thay were just blue collar every day men that that love to ride and loved there bikes i cant even say for sure if thay would have concidered them selves bikers thay just called them selves motorcycle riders but thay taught me there is always something new to learn i have been around and rode from flat heads to evos but the twin cams ,v-rods ,buells etc i havent got a clue this is the main reason i joined these on line groups cause you guys have a wealth of knowledgehere that i dont have and want .as for the life style when i started the saying was ''ride a harley go to prison,''now look at how the life style has changed ,always something new,such as terms ,parts, fads ,etc .man when i started there were certain towns in the mid west that if you rode in to them you was automaticly hassled by the cops also back then very few lady riders were around you could go to any given area and count them on one hand these changes are all good things .thats the cool thing about our life style its always growing and changing with so much to learn from so many different types of bikers its just plain awesome, and this seems to be a good place to learn what you dont know i learn new things from you guys and gals ever time i log on
    thanks
     
  8. R. Lewis

    R. Lewis Senior Member Retired Moderators

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    Webster's dictionary ---

    RUBE -- "an awkward unsophisticated person".

    RUB --- "something that mars or upsets serenity"

    so, sometimes, both meanings for the same "person" may fit!!??
    HA-HA!!!!
     
  9. dhog

    dhog Active Member

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    darkman may be right rube (rich urban biker esquire):not_ripe:
     
  10. bikermonkey

    bikermonkey Active Member

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    I just entered my residence and after our butler, Mr. French, poured a draft beer for me and fetched my Harley Davidson slippers, I had Frenchy, pull up HD Talking on my gold plated laptop for a quick review. I must say, I was somewhat vexed regarding comments directed at a particular class of riding enthusiast. Had I not been absolutely exhausted from watching the maid buff my Harley Davidson FLSTFI with one of mothers diapers, I would may have been put off my imported beverage. Please try to refrain from further expressions of an un-complimentary nature to us who appreciate the finer things in life. I must go now, Buffy needs her bunions scraped. :coffee