Ton o Puns: Following up Big Lew

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by docsledge, Jan 19, 2009.

  1. docsledge

    docsledge Active Member

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    Glider, better check this out. I really don't want to offend anyone.

    Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,

    Kentuckians, Tennesseans, Virginians, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

    And furthermore

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a ' BREASTED AMERICAN.'

    2. She is not ' EASY ' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

    3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

    4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

    5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

    6. She is not a 'TWO- BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.'

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

    2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN .'

    3. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

    4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

    5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL JERK' - He develops a case of CRANIALRECTALMITUS.'

    6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'
     
  2. glider

    glider Veteran Member

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    You can squeak by on those :D
     
  3. STEVE07

    STEVE07 Well-Known Member Staff Member Super Moderators

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    Another printout for the wall of the shop:D