Don't know if you guys have heard this one or not, but it cracked me up. --- Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London/Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and...... OH, MY GOSH!' Silence followed! Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom. 'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!' One Scottish passenger yelled... 'For heaven’s sake man ......... you should see the back of mine!!!'