Things a bike can teach

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by azdigger, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. azdigger

    azdigger Member

    Twelve things that a motorcycle can teach...

    1. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear view mirror.

    2. Four wheels might move the body...but two wheels move the soul.

    3. I'd rather be riding my motorcycle and thinking about God than sitting in Church and thinking about my motorcycle.

    4. Life may begin at 30...but it doesn't get interesting until about 95....mph.

    5. Midnight bugs taste just as bad as noontime bugs.

    6. Sometimes it takes a whole tank of gas before you can think straight.

    7. A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.

    8. Young riders pick a destination and go... old riders pick a direction and go...

    9. When you are riding lead, don't spit.

    10. Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at 75 mph can double your vocabulary.

    11. I've never seen a motorcycle parked outside a psychiatrist's office.

    And Finally:

    12. Only Bikers know why dogs stick their heads out car windows.
  2. wconn1979

    wconn1979 Member


    Well said!
  3. drbillk

    drbillk Banned

    Here's a few more I've heard over the years... enjoy!

    1. Respect the person who has seen the dark side of motorcycling and lived!
    2. The best cure for a hangover, is sunshine on chrome.
    3. Saddlebags will not hold everything you want, but they will hold everything you need.
    4. Wear boots, you can't kick things with tennis shoes.
    5. Never argue with an upset biker.
    6. Routine maintenance cannot be neglected.
    7. It takes more love to share a saddle, than it does to share a bed.
    8. Remember to pay as much attention to your woman as you do your bike.
    9. The best alarm clock, is a big V-Twin..
    10. A two lane blacktop isn't a highway, its an attitude.
    11. Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
    12. If it takes more than three bolts to hold it on, it's probably critical.
    13. Remember, you will be judged not only by the horse you ride, but also by how you ride your horse.
    14. Don't ride so late into the night, that you sleep through the sunrise.
    15. Burgers and beer are as important as gasoline.
    16. The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators.
    17. Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.
    18. Never loan your bike to a stranger.
    19. If you want to have a job, you may have to compromise your principals. You may even have to shave.
    20. Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
    21. Never hesitate to ride into unknown territory.
    22. Never mistake horsepower for staying power.
    23. I'd rather have experience and good reflexes, than luck.
    24. A cold burger in tinfoil can be reheated by strapping it to an exhaust pipe for fifty miles.
    25. Never do less than forty miles before breakfast.
    26. If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride.
    27. More races are lost in the tavern than on the track.
    28. There are two kinds of bikers, those who've been down, and those who are goin down.
    29. People are like motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.
    30. Respect your fellow riders, it may be one of them doing CPR on you someday.
    31. Getting lost, just means you get to ride farther.
    32. Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
    33. Always back your scoot into the curb and sit where you can see it.
    34. Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes.
    35. Whatever it is, its better in the wind.
    36. The worst day on a bike, is still better than the best day in a cage.
    37. A biker can smell a party 50 miles away.
    38. Take care of your horse, and it will take care of you.
    39. If I have to explain, you won't understand.
  4. dbmg

    dbmg Experienced Member

    Great read.
    Two more for the list: If gas is in the tank you are never lost....
    Sometimes the best relationship you can have is with your bike, for it goes where every you want to go, do what ever you want to do, and it never complains or talk back.

    BOBFLHTC Active Member

    When dating it will assist you in selecting the proper life partner - Bob
  6. Duane53

    Duane53 Active Member

    There is a lot of truth in those words.
  7. ballpeen

    ballpeen Active Member

    Thanks, I really enjoyed this one, I kept knodding my head in agreement while reading..
  8. tubguy

    tubguy Active Member

    This made me laugh!!!! My wife agrees with number 10 she had a yellow jacket fly in her coat, she got stung 2 times and then burnt her leg on the exhaust while jumping off the bike, but I did learn if you suck out the venom where the sting was it stops the pain!!:) Don`t ask...
  9. dpsimcox

    dpsimcox Member

    A Few More If You Don’t Mind.
    (Forgive me if any are repeated)

    Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.

    Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need

    Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town

    Never do less than forty miles before breakfast

    Two-lane blacktop isn't a highway - it's an attitude.

    When you look down the road, it seems to never end - but you better believe it does.

    If the bike isn't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.

    Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor

    There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer

    Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're going

    Don't argue with an18-wheeler

    Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit

    The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside

    You can’t be truly free if you are wearing a watch.

    No matter how much you pay for rain gear to keep you dry, it won’t.

    The best motorcycle to ride is the one you own at the time.

    Never be afraid to slow down

    Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night

    A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn

    He who would travel happily must travel light
  10. GARVIN

    GARVIN Active Member

    you are never lost on a motorcycle - you just found a new short cut .
    fuel permitting