The South. (And I live here)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Redfish-Joe, Jan 3, 2011.

  1. Redfish-Joe

    Redfish-Joe Senior Member


    A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for

    the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering

    under the weight of an eight-point buck.

    "Where's Henry?" the others asked.

    "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the

    trail," the successful hunter replied.

    "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they


    "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to

    steal Henry!"


    The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an

    invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

    He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from

    the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you

    $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

    The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,

    "Everything but my earrings."


    A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the

    world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ." When asked why, he replied,

    "I'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20

    years later than in the rest of the civilized world."


    The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to

    his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the

    parking lot!"

    Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"

    The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

    North Carolina

    A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the

    road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and

    one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

    A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he

    turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

    The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

    The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

    The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in

    the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."


    A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper

    asked, "Got any ID?"

    The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


    The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his

    pick-up into the ditch.

    The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't

    you see that sign right over your head."

    "Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin it here, cause it says:

    'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."


    You can say what you want about the South,

    But you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North.
  2. Jack Klarich

    Jack Klarich Expert Member

    Good ones Joe, only in the South can you get humor like that:yes
  3. geezer

    geezer Senior Member Contributor

    Enjoyed them all.
  4. RetiredJake

    RetiredJake Junior Member

    I love 'em and can see the people as the story unwinds. :newsmile063:
  5. ultra...good

    ultra...good Banned

    You know how you can tell that the tooth brush was invented in the south?
    It it were invented in the north, it would have been called a teeth brush.:D
  6. sjlnys

    sjlnys Member

    I'm retiring and can't wait to move south!!!!!!