Smarty Pants

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Gas Gauge, Nov 10, 2011.

  1. Gas Gauge

    Gas Gauge Junior Member

    O.K., just a couple....

    ANSWER #1

    It was meal time during an airline flight....
    'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John,
    'What are my choices?' John asked.
    'Yes or no,' she replied.

    ANSWER #2

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
    grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
    She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
    The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

    ANSWER #3

    The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was
    stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
    'I've been waiting for you all day' the officer said.
    The kid replied: 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
    When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
    his way without a ticket.

    ANSWER #4

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed
    a sign that read: "Low Bridge Ahead". Before he knows it, the
    bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it.
    Cars are backed up for miles.
    Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car
    and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips
    and says: 'Got stuck, huh?'
    The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'

    ANSWER #5

    A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror.
    She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband:
    'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly,
    I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
    The husband replies: 'Your eyesight has improved with age'
  2. oldhippie

    oldhippie Senior Member

    #5 could lead to a deep freeze or newspaper headlines like "Husband Suffers Life Threatening Head Trauma".:D:laugh
  3. lorne

    lorne Senior Member

    good ones thanks for sharing
  4. gator508

    gator508 Senior Member

    Ha-ha-ha. Have to try #3 next time I get pulled over...LOL