Perks of being over 50

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by mrs2cool, Dec 30, 2008.

  1. mrs2cool

    mrs2cool Active Member

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    Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...


    Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

    01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

    02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

    03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

    04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

    05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

    06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

    07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

    08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

    09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

    10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

    11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

    12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

    13. You sing along with elevator music.

    14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

    15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

    16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

    17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

    18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

    19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

    And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
     
  2. gasbag

    gasbag Active Member

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    I can stand in a crowd and drool and babble and everyone around me thinks: "Oh, look at that poor old man. Someone should help him." I can also fart in a crowd without apologizing.
     
  3. glider

    glider Veteran Member

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    Aw geez, spare us the details.
     
  4. threesteps

    threesteps Junior Member

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    Know any way we can trade-in a few of these perks????:33:
     
  5. drake

    drake Senior Member

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    You also receieve your aarp card in the mail without even asking for it!!!
     
  6. Lancer

    Lancer Junior Member

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    06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

    I will be a happy man when this one comes!
     
  7. glider

    glider Veteran Member

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    Maybe gasbag doesn't have potty mouth history? :naughty:lolrolling
     
  8. dhog

    dhog Active Member

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    We can also speak our mind and just get overlooked, ignored, misjudged,but when we ride our hd's their still a whole lot more jealous than when we was 20 and owned a Vega.:bigsmiley10::small3d006::newsmile04:
     
  9. dan1551

    dan1551 Account Removed

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    Your Just That Much Closer To The Possibility That You Can Hide Your Own Easter Eggs!
     
  10. docsledge

    docsledge Active Member

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    Gary, Right on the money. Or - right on the NOSE HAIR.
    Nose hair is no fun.
    I'm going bald pretty badly on the top rear. You know, the monks cut.
    Now if I can grow hair so well in my ears and nose and parts farther south, why can't I do it on top of my head? If I'm not going to be able to grow hair somewhere, why not everywhere.
    If we keep going with this, we might be able to write a song.