The wife and I decided to take a ride one day last season. She wanted to go two up, it's been awhile so why not. Decided to go to Kirksville for lunch about 140 miles one way through the winding rolling hills of the Missouri farm lands. We were about 80 miles into our ride when I see something in the road. I move a bit to the right to avoid it, but the side wall of my front tire just barley rolled over it. It was a damn king snake in the road, the tire caught it and flipped it up and it got hung up on my left leg just below my knee, it's head flapping behind me. Damn thing latched onto my wifes boot just above the ankle. All of a sudden she's pounding the top of my helmet yelling snake, snake, all awhile kicking her leg back and forth. I head to the side of the road and before I'm stopped she's off the bike and continuing her kicking to get the snake off. Now I got to tell you, my wife is a 3rd degree black belt in Tai Kwon Do, she has been for a long while, she is fearless. I've seen her in the ring and a couple times out of it, I have never seen anyone able to stand up to her round house 540. It's a thing of beauty. But that damn snake hung in there, flipping like a bull whip at the end of her kicks. I wasn't about to get anywhere close to that, the snake or her foot. Then I hear tires screeching and a woop, woop, I looked up to see a MO. State Trooper pulled over and heading our way, yelling stop, stop, well I guess she heard him too because she stopped and just stood there looking kind of pale. The snake let go and slithered off into the weeds. The Trooper demanded to know what was going on, he was sure we were in the middle of a domestic altercation. We told him what happened, but with no snake to back it up. I guess it did look kind of funny, her kicking like crazy, me standing just out of reach with my hands up yelling, baby stop, stop kicking, stop. The trooper never saw the snake, just all the commotion. When we were finished telling him our story, he just stood there looking at us (still in all our riding gear) like we were on drugs. About that time here comes the snake out of the weeds right toward the disbelieving trooper. He started dancing like a little girl learning to tap. My wife saying you see, I told you, you SOB, me, well, I'm just standing there laughing at the whole thing. I was sure Barney was going for the bullet in his pocket. The snake headed on across the road, the trooper headed back to his car shaking his head, me, well, now I'm doubled over I'm laughing so hard, all I could do is point at the ground and mimic the troopers little dance. I could swear that trooper gave me the finger when he went by, that made me laugh even more. My sides still hurt. Oh, we did finally make it for lunch and it was great. Best damn lunch ride we've had in a long, long time. Watch out for ole sneeky snake folks, he's still out there. Somewhere....
How about you?
