message on craigslist. must read,,funny

Discussion in 'General OFF TOPIC' started by JJDH, Sep 24, 2009.

  1. JJDH

    JJDH Active Member

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    I PROOF READ THIS, IF ANYTHING UNACCEPTABLE, I APPOLOGIZE AND PLEASE EDIT.I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend and me, threatening our lives.

    You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

    I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

    First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.

    My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

    Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, wasn't it?

    I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

    After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done.. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely
    grateful!

    I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

    I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

    Later, I called a bunch of adult 1 900 numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?

    Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

    In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

    Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

    Have a good day!

    Thoughtfully yours,
    Alex

    P.S. Remember this motto. . An armed society makes for a more civil society!

    hahaha owned.
     
  2. joeysamm

    joeysamm Member

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    :lolrolling That is "CRAZY"
     
  3. walleye

    walleye Junior Member Contributor

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    Thank you. I will sleep with a smile on my face and I hope I get that very chance someday.:s I HATE scum.
     
  4. Safehaven

    Safehaven Active Member

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    Now this is a story that makes me believe that carrying guns is a good idea :)

    Ride safe,
    Kris
     
  5. 03classic

    03classic Junior Member

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    That goes to show you just never know!
     
  6. glenalt

    glenalt Junior Member

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    You gotta love that no matter what you think about guns.
     
  7. Rewind

    Rewind Active Member

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    Now that is justice right there!!!!
     
  8. paulmack

    paulmack Active Member

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    That was good. Made my day.
     
  9. MILO

    MILO Member

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    Great story. The only thing he forgot to do is steal his identity and ruin the guy's credit. Thank you for making my day!!
     
  10. RetiredJake

    RetiredJake Junior Member

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    Love the story, hope some learn a lesson.