McDonnell Douglas Extremely Funny

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by David, Jan 25, 2008.

  1. David

    David Active Member

    This was posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humour. The company, of course, does not have a sense of humour, and made the web department take it down immediately. (For once, the "IMPORTANT" note at the end is worth a read too.)

    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

    1. [_] Mr.
    [_] Mrs.
    [_] Ms.
    [_] Miss
    [_] Lt.
    [_] Gen.
    [_] Comrade
    [_] Classified
    [_] Other

    First Name: ............................ Initial: .........

    Last Name:..................................

    Password: ........................ (max. 8 char)

    Code Name:............................................. ............

    Latitude - Longitude - Altitude:....................................

    2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
    [_] F-14 Tomcat
    [_] F-15 Eagle
    [_] F-16 Falcon
    [_] F-117A Stealth
    [_] Classified

    3. Date of purchase (year / month / day): ......./....... /......

    4. Serial Number: .............................................

    5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
    [_] Received as gift / aid package
    [_] Catalogue / showroom
    [_] Independent arms broker
    [_] Mail order
    [_] Discount store
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    6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product
    you have just purchased:
    [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
    [_] Store display
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    [_] Was attacked by one

    7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
    decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
    [_] Style / appearance
    [_] Speed / maneuverability
    [_] Price / value
    [_] Comfort / convenience
    [_] Kickback / bribe
    [_] Recommended by salesperson
    [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
    [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
    [_] Backroom politics
    [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

    8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
    [_] North America
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Aircraft carrier
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Europe
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
    [_] Iraq
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    [_] Iraq
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    purchase in the near future:
    [_] Color TV
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    10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all
    that apply)
    [_] Communist / Socialist
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    11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
    [_] Deficit spending
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    12. Your occupation:
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    [_] Sales / marketing
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    13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
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    participating on a regular basis:
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    [_] Propaganda / misinformation
    [_] Destabilization / overthrow
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    [_] Gardening
    [_] Crafts
    [_] Black market / smuggling
    [_] Collectibles / collections
    [_] Watching sports on TV
    [_] Wines
    [_] Interrogation / torture
    [_] Household pets
    [_] Crushing rebellions
    [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
    [_] Fashion clothing
    [_] Border disputes
    [_] Mutually Assured Destruction

    Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

    Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division

    IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs.

    If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly)and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or no grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, though the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn there is no hidden message revealed by reading this backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this eMail in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk, and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 27, 2008
  2. HarleyHarry

    HarleyHarry Banned

    Now that's funny!