Jokes Free for all Hijack at will

[R_W_B]

You remember the one about the blonde that called the airline desk attendent and asked how long it took to fly from NY to LA. The attendent was busy as the moment and said, 'just a minute'. The blonde said 'thanks and hung up'.

Well that same blonde was sitting at Starbucks on the patio area, when a truck drove past loaded up with sod. She said to her friend, 'what a great idea'.

Her friend said 'what's that ?'

The blonde says 'sending your lawn out to be mowed'.

 

[HDDon]

Or the landscaping foreman that had that blond and a group of her blond friends on his crew. Had to keep yelling out the window "green side up!!"

 

[lorne]

You remember the one about the blonde that called the airline desk attendent and asked how long it took to fly from NY to LA. The attendent was busy as the moment and said, 'just a minute'. The blonde said 'thanks and hung up'.

Well that same blonde was sitting at Starbucks on the patio area, when a truck drove past loaded up with sod. She said to her friend, 'what a great idea'.

Her friend said 'what's that ?'

The blonde says 'sending your lawn out to be mowed'.

Or the landscaping foreman that had that blond and a group of her blond friends on his crew. Had to keep yelling out the window "green side up!!"

i am just glad my mother isn't a member yup 82 and still blond

 

[lidflipper]

A woman asks her husband, “Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?”

He declines. “Thanks for asking, but I’m not hungry right now. It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”

At lunchtime she again asked if he would like something. “How would you like a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?”
...
Again he declines. “The Viagra,” he says, “really trashes my desire for food.”

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. “Would you like a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken?”

He declines again. “Naw, still not hungry.”

“Well,” she says, “would you mind letting me up? I’m starving.”

 

[lorne]

A woman asks her husband, “Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?”

He declines. “Thanks for asking, but I’m not hungry right now. It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”

At lunchtime she again asked if he would like something. “How would you like a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?”
...
Again he declines. “The Viagra,” he says, “really trashes my desire for food.”

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. “Would you like a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken?”

He declines again. “Naw, still not hungry.”

“Well,” she says, “would you mind letting me up? I’m starving.”

:lolrolling:lolrolling

 

[R_W_B]

+1 :lolrolling :lolrolling

That's good lidflipper. I've always wanted to be a fly on the wall of the emergency room when the guy with over the limit '4 hours' comes in and whispers his problem to the late shift nurse. At that time she leans over her shoulder and hollars (where the whole waiting room can hear) Hey Mable we got another 4 hour hard timer over here. :lolrolling

BTW Jasper, that's some pretty country up there. I worked up there and White Springs doing some surveying years ago.

 

[lorne]

A white haired man from Wallaceburg walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'There's no money in that account.'

'I know,' said the old man,

'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!'


See.......Not All Seniors Are Senile

 

[lorne]

An Amish family takes their first trip to the big city, and end up at the mall. While the women wander off in one direction, the father and his son find themselves standing in front of an elevator, both are wondering what it is. As time passes a very large, old women rides up on a scooter, and pushes the up button. To the amazement of the man and his son, a door opens, the woment drives inside, and the door closes. They watch as the lights above the door go up... 1...2...3. After a few minutes, the lights glow again... 3...2...1 and the door opens up again. Out bounces the most beautiful perky blonde you can imagine. She walks right past the two and disappears into the crowd of shoppers. The father looks at his son in amazement and then says, son... go get your mother...

this just cracked me up AGAIN!!!!