Holy Humour!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by gator508, Apr 21, 2011.

  1. gator508

    gator508 Senior Member

    A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
    His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?
    The son replied, "I do know!"
    "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
    "That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'

    "Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning.

    A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
    Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
    When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

    While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign.... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
  2. R_W_B

    R_W_B Senior Member

    Got a good laugh out of the cops reply, those were good Gator.

    Did you hear these?
    A preacher's young 5yr old son was the epitome of innocence. His parents were very strict about cleaniness and saying grace.

    One day the 5yr old ran in just in time for dinner and sat down at the table and grabbed a leg of fried chicken.

    His mother scolded him and said, Have you washed your hands and said your grace?

    The little boy still with the tasty chicken in his mouth, looked at his mom and said,

    Germs and Jesus, that's all I hear about, and I ain't never seen either one.

    And old drunk was walking along the side of an old country road late at night. A country preacher was driving home and rounded the curve and just in time saw the drunk man walking too close to the roadway and swerved hard to miss him.

    The preacher's car slide sideways on the dirt road and came to a stop. The preacher was so shook up by the whole affair he just sat there for a bit. Meanwhile the old drunk had caught up to where the car was. He stopped and poked his head in the window of the preacher's car and said are you ok ?

    The preacher replied, oh yes I have the lord riding with me.

    The old drunk looked a bit confused and said, well you better let him walk with me, you might get him killed.

    The preacher laughed and looked at the man and said, well you got the first part right.

    A certain righteous man was talking with God one day. So he asked,

    God how long is a million years to you? God said about a second.

    So then the man asked,
    God how much is a million dollars to you ? God said about a penny.

    So the man then said,
    God could I have just a penny ?

    God said, sure just a second.
  3. gator508

    gator508 Senior Member

    No, hadn't heard them RWB,, the last one cracked me up!!