Funny read

Discussion in 'General OFF TOPIC' started by Mavagrand, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. Mavagrand

    Mavagrand Senior Member

    For those unable to ride:

    "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"
    Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
    Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
    Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."
    Samsung Electronics
    Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."
    Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."
    RAC Motoring Services
    Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I
    am traveling in Australia?"
    Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"
    Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe ) "If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
    Directory Inquiries
    Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"
    Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"
    Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the
    'B' fell off."
    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
    Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
    Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland"
    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."
    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop"
    Customer: "OK."
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up to this point?"
    Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
    Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen,
    can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"
    Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I
    need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I
    get my file back again?"
    This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared."
    Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
    Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
    where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
    into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
    two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
    Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
    coming in from the window."
    Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do
    you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your
    computer came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
    just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store
    you bought it from."
    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
  2. Robert Walter

    Robert Walter Member

    Love these... I just read these to wife and asked her if she made the call ??She didn't see the funny side....Good thing we've been married 33 years..
  3. jaceddie

    jaceddie Junior Member

    These are great. I think I've talked to some of these people. :rofl
  4. HDDon

    HDDon Experienced Member Contributor Retired Moderators

    That last guy is on another motorcycle forum, I wonder if he still has the box his bike came in???