Funny (I dont care who you are)

Discussion in 'General Harley Davidson Topic' started by Mavagrand, Jan 6, 2009.

  1. Mavagrand

    Mavagrand Senior Member

    Read this on another forum. It is a long read, but absolutely hilarious. Enjoy:

    Hi everybody! I was at the chrome shop today when the parts guy started talking to me about electrical equipment and that motorcycles are a lot different then cars. He was telling me some horror stories about one of his old bikes, the light bulb in the blinker overheated and caused a short in the electrical. He was lucky he pulled over when he smelt something strange. He said that it could have even caused a massive engine fire!!! I’m not the biggest motorcycle guy out there and don’t know the smell between oil and antifreeze on these things. So he graciously told me the key signs for blinker failure. The first sign is if your blinkers are clicking louder then they should be I should add fluid IMMEDIATLY since this is the first step toward blinker failure and is the easiest to cure. The next step one of two things could happen, either the blinker light will stay on (not blink, just light up like a headlight) or blink twice as fast as it should. If either one of these happens I will need to replace additional parts instead of just add fluid. And if one of these things happens and I ignore it the next thing I know I could be riding along and have the engine catch one fire!!! But he was very helpful in explaining the advantages and disadvantages of various blinker fluids. Like synthetic blinker fluid is needed if I use my signals a lot, or lower viscosity fluid for the colder temps, or blue rated so my amber turn lights can match my blue headlight. Anyway, my question is what would you guys recommend for me? I live up north but I don’t ride the bike in the winter. The coldest I would ride in would be maybe 50F. Are there any other kinds of fluid he missed that would be better? is there a good 'conventional' blinker fluid out there for cheap? Would the blue stuff make the light dimmer?

    He was also very helpful with many other things to buy and he asked what I wanted to do to the bike, so I told him I would like to make this thing faster. So he explained that Harley pistons are much heavier then the rice burners which is why the crotch rockets sound different and rev so much higher and faster, so the biggest improvement for Harleys is to have the bottom end rebuilt with a set of heavy-duty piston return springs. Does anybody have a good brand for these? I haven’t had a chance to flip through the catalogs yet to find them.
    I don’t want to do a full engine rebuild yet (I can do it myself, but I just don’t have the time right now, maybe in a couple months though!). So he just recommended a few tools every biker needs to have, he mentioned a left handed screw-driver. I’m not left handed but he said its good for those spots where you cant get a right-handed screwdriver into. And a Johnson Rod is a good way to tune the carb on these newer bikes in warm weather (apparently it only works between 70-90F). He said to just stick it into the tailpipe when shes turned-on and let the rod expand and get to full length (usually takes 3-5 minutes) then position it inside the intake for a minute or two until the fuel delivery is set to the proper mixture. But the bad thing is cold weather will cause it to contract and be nearly impossible to expand until heated back up to normal temps. I think thats a great idea for me since I usually only ride in the warmer weather. But, he was just explaining what this device does and he couldnt recommend one brand over the other, so I’m asking for your advice here again? Where can I purchase a Johnson Rod? How much do they normally cost?

    And he was very helpful because after I bought a left-handed screwdriver and a bottle of his generic blinker fluid from him (just enough fluid to top me off until I could change it for something that fits my driving style better). He mentioned that Harleys have a weak spot between the cylinders due to the big bore, tall cylinders, high compression, and wide V between them. He explained that a K-Valve would fix the issue by releasing the compression between the cylinders at the precise time that is needed to put as little stress on the block as possible. He told me theres four types of K-valves available, the standard Kuhneutson which is the run of the mill generic brand, the Kneutson which has an improved flow path, the Kanutson which has a better release mechanism, or the superior Kuhneuter-valve which has an outstanding flow path and an unstoppable release mechanism. So I purchase the top-of-the-line Kuhneuter-valve aswell from him.

    Anyway, Im pretty sure everybody here already knows this stuff but I just wanted to fill you in on my eye-opening trip to the dealership and hopefully you guys can help me answer some of my questions above.
  2. STEVE07

    STEVE07 Well-Known Member Staff Member Super Moderators

    Good story! But how do you get the Johnson rod out when it's cold?:small3d023:
  3. Lancer

    Lancer Junior Member

    I have a Kuhneuter-valve, it is superior in all ways.
  4. twoup

    twoup Active Member

    I agree Lancer, much superior and when I installed the Injector (pod
    settings -06 -06 43 -06) my bike lean went to 12 degrees when on the
  5. Apyle

    Apyle Junior Member

    I wonder if that's the same guy who sold me my left handed smoke shifter and my 3/8 board stretcher? :newsmile01:
  6. krikket

    krikket Active Member

    That's where I got my left handed snorkel bender, florescent tube bender, pipe stretcher... he even helped me with my car.... found a loose nut behind the wheel!!
  7. Ken S.

    Ken S. Active Member

    If if you know nothing about anything, common sense should take over.

  8. ProF

    ProF Junior Member

  9. waterdog

    waterdog Active Member


    Man, Thanks ProF! That's a wonderful site.

    I know a couple guys that need some balls and that site has some brass ones available. :D
  10. docsledge

    docsledge Active Member

    Did you see that O pipe? Only a $100. I think I can adapt it to the stock things coming out of the hole toward the top of the engine. I think they are called exhausted holes. Says 100% back pressure. 100% of anything has to be good. Right?