Costco diet

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by glider, Oct 10, 2011.

  1. glider

    glider Veteran Member

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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle and a car hit me.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.

    Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.

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    Last edited: Oct 10, 2011
  2. dbmg

    dbmg Experienced Member

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    :a:a:lolrolling:lolrolling
     
  3. Rubyred

    Rubyred Senior Member

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    Great story, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! Thanks.
     
  4. lorne

    lorne Senior Member

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    and Jack says you don't have a sense of humor :D good one
     
  5. glider

    glider Veteran Member

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    Jack who? :lolrolling
     
  6. HDDon

    HDDon Experienced Member Contributor Retired Moderators

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    Dang you Glider. Before I read the punchline I had the wife on the phone and had her buy the 50# bag. Now I stuck with all this kibble and no dog! Great story!!
     
  7. Trek

    Trek Junior Member

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    I love it. Too funny.
     
  8. Digger Guy

    Digger Guy Member

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    Good one!!!
     
  9. NEWHD74FAN

    NEWHD74FAN Experienced Member Retired Moderators

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    *Sniff*...*Sniff* and then BANG! Well...no more kibble for me! Thank you for the advice Glider! :lolrolling
     
  10. Davidw2415

    Davidw2415 Senior Member

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    Thanks or the laugh Glider,that is funny.