Banned from Target

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Adamal47, Mar 24, 2012.

  1. Adamal47

    Adamal47 Active Member

    Husband banned from Target

    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target.

    Dear Mrs. Samsel,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called..

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    And last, but not least:

    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the employees passed out.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 24, 2012
  2. R_W_B

    R_W_B Senior Member

    :lolrolling :lolrolling Boy this guy was a real terror. Oh those were good.
  3. Jack Klarich

    Jack Klarich Expert Member

  4. ckphir0

    ckphir0 Member

    I should do this in Wal-Mart, I should be so lucky as to get banned from that place!!
  5. Davidw2415

    Davidw2415 Senior Member

    I wouldn't mind being banned from Walmart, but they have a good price on Mobil 1.
  6. Jeff Klarich

    Jeff Klarich Well-Known Member Contributor

    Man, I gotta try that! anything to get me out of shopping. that cuts into my riding time!!
  7. 67shovelbucket

    67shovelbucket Banned

    My wife DID get banned from our local walmart and escorted out by the 2 store managers and the cops. she still goes in anyway.All over a $12.00 pr of tennis shoes. no joke
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 25, 2012
  8. R_W_B

    R_W_B Senior Member

    I don't think my wife and I could survive without Walmart. I do all the shoppping cause my wife tires out easy. I've priced Winn Dixie and Publix when I would go there for a few items since they are closer. It's almost shocking the price difference on most stuff. It ain't just a few cents, it's closer to a buck an item.

    They don't bag your groceries any better at any of um. Can't figure that out either, one of my first jobs in life was Bag Boy at Winn Dixie and we'd of been fired for bagging the way they do now at any of them.

    And ever since our local Walmart changed the location of everything around there is no ryhme or reason and it's terrrible to find an item. But yes some of the folks at Walmart are funny. My wife says I need to walk in front of the mirrors for the biggest laugh.