And we know you're a poser if... You spit out the bug that just flew in your mouth. You spend more time shining your bike than riding it. You're too cool to wave at the kids in the mom-mobile in front of you. You grab for your hairbrush before your old lady. You take your bike into the shop for oil changes. Your $500 boots aren't scuffed from riding. You think that a kick-starter is a mocha latte. You set at least one mirror, if not both, to reflect yourself. Your saddle bags say "Gucci". You carry a lap-top in your saddle bags. Your tattoos wash off. You put your pony-tail back in the drawer after you get home. You won't ride down a gravel road. You've never seen a sunrise from two wheels. You only ride on weekends, when you can. You never ride to work. All your leathers match. There are no wrinkled, faded, creased, or scratched areas on your leathers. You don't own a rain suit. You've never ridden long enough to know that stock seats are never comfortable. You've never had to replace a worn out tire. You've had to replace your tires, but because they were too old and not too worn. You like to ride by stores with big picture windows so you can admire your reflection. You ride a Ducati. Your longest road trip this year was to Hooter's for bike night.