And that's how the fight started

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by The4opps1, Apr 13, 2015.

  1. The4opps1

    The4opps1 Junior Member

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    One year I decided to buy my mother in law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked why , I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year"....and that's when the fight started.

    I took my wife to a restaurant . The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the porterhouse steak rare, please". He said:"aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself". ...and that's when the fight started

    My wife at her high school reunion kept staring at a drunk swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her:"do you know him?""Yes", she sighed, "he's my old boyfriend. He's began drinking right after we split up years ago and hasn't been sober since. "My God!"I said, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"....and that's when the fight started

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said:"I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds" I bought her a bathroom scale......and that's when the fight started.

    My wife was standing naked looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw. "I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment". I replied, "Well, you eyesight is darn near perfect".....and that's when the fight started.
     
    lorne likes this.
  2. Airtech1987

    Airtech1987 Member

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    Those are good!
     
  3. joel

    joel Junior Member

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    Those are good, maybe if everyone changes their passwords they would be able to respond.
    [​IMG]
     
  4. gator508

    gator508 Senior Member

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    I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a really bad day. The driver of the car hopped out and he was a dwarf. He glared at me and said "well I'm not happy," to which I replied " which one are you then"

    ..and that's how the fight started.
     
  5. Jeff Klarich

    Jeff Klarich Well-Known Member Contributor

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    There ya go again Russ, the politically correct term is VERTICALLY CHALLENGED . :eek:
     
  6. gator508

    gator508 Senior Member

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    I'm just sooo politically incorrect:D
     
    Jeff Klarich likes this.
  7. Iceman24

    Iceman24 Well-Known Member

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    Nice...good ones! :D
     
  8. Willem

    Willem Member

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    Good ones.
    It rains like it is for free overhere but i am laughing