A woman, a Vet and a duck

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Redfish-Joe, Aug 3, 2013.

  1. Redfish-Joe

    Redfish-Joe Senior Member

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    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.

    As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

    After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said; "I'm sorry, your duck (Cuddles) has passed away."

    The distressed woman wailed; "Are you sure?"

    "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead." replied the vet.

    "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room.

    He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

    The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

    A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said; "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

    The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried; "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!?"

    The vet shrugged; "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but... with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
     
  2. lorne

    lorne Senior Member

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    oh..Joe....thanks for sharing
     
  3. trike lady

    trike lady Junior Member

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    That's a good one.
     
  4. dbmg

    dbmg Experienced Member

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    Great one Joe.....:s
     
  5. Jeff Klarich

    Jeff Klarich Well-Known Member Contributor

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    You to funny.
     
  6. gator508

    gator508 Senior Member

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    Ha-ha-ha, another good one, where do you come up with these?
     
  7. Joyflyin

    Joyflyin Experienced Member Staff Member Moderator

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    Ummm, I don't know which is worse, the joke itself, or the fact that I'm still laughing at it. :bigsmiley25::p:unsure:newsmile058:
     
  8. edwardschlacter11

    edwardschlacter11 New Member

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    WELL THAT WAS BEAUTIFULL.
    lol!
    check
    Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera were building a barn. While putting up the inside wall, Britney noticed that Christina was tossing every other nail into the garbage can.
    Britney asked Christina, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"
    Christina said, "The pointed end is on the wrong end of the nail."
    Britney said, "Well, don't throw those away, we can use those on the outside wall!"
    _______________________________
     
  9. sportriderrr

    sportriderrr Member

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    wuah wuah wuah....haha great laugh!
     
  10. 2013 FXDWG

    2013 FXDWG New Member

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    now thars two smart gals fer ya!