29 lines to make you smile.

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by Davidw2415, Jan 14, 2008.

  1. Davidw2415

    Davidw2415 Senior Member

    1,456
    46
    0
    1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
    3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
    6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
    7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
    9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
    10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the- room-spinning medicine.
    12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
    13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
    17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
    18. Procrastinate Now!
    19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
    20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
    22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
    23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
    24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
    25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
    26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
    27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
    28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
    29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
    :p
     
  2. glider

    glider Veteran Member

    25,464
    108
    44
    Good ones David and oh so true too.
     
  3. R. Lewis

    R. Lewis Senior Member Retired Moderators

    2,183
    48
    5
    :bigsmiley17: he-he-he number two and number six -- :tounge :lolrolling :32: :Banane33: dat wood be me!!!!!!


    HA-HA!!!!
     
  4. Joyflyin

    Joyflyin Experienced Member Staff Member Moderator

    5,324
    118
    93
    I agree 100%......Thanks.
     
  5. Davidw2415

    Davidw2415 Senior Member

    1,456
    46
    0
    #18 kind of hit home with me. :bigsmiley5:
     
  6. Davidw2415

    Davidw2415 Senior Member

    1,456
    46
    0
    Very well put Dk.
    I'm glad you all enjoyed the 29 lines.
     
  7. Joyflyin

    Joyflyin Experienced Member Staff Member Moderator

    5,324
    118
    93
    Careful there...........we might be just 'girls' but we still rule the world, don't we.......ha, ha, just kidding........we solved that problem with his & hers bathrooms.......His idea, not mine. I installed the night lite..
     
  8. R. Lewis

    R. Lewis Senior Member Retired Moderators

    2,183
    48
    5
     
  9. Joyflyin

    Joyflyin Experienced Member Staff Member Moderator

    5,324
    118
    93
    Maybe I'll switch my referrals to 'just a lady' since the 'hey, I'm just a girl' really hasn't worked for me in the past.......See, I'm learning more the more I read this stuff! And For the record, I don't have pink soaps......Ha ha ha! I prefer lavender....Still joking, no offense taken here.