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Old Jan 20th, 2014, 03:22 PM     #1
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"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that love using words in rather unique ways,
such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is
pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best one is held every year.
This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the cream of the wretched crop:

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
When they find the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be disappointed they're not it..
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Old Jan 20th, 2014, 05:15 PM     #2
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Re: Lexophile

Why is an old spinster like a frozen tomato? Because it's hard to mate her.
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Old Jan 22nd, 2014, 08:42 AM     #3
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Re: Lexophile

Interesting thread, TMI, but good. Drive on a Parkway, park on a driveway.
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Old Jan 22nd, 2014, 09:33 AM     #4
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Re: Lexophile

Now thats some good thinking outside the box.
Failure to plan on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on my part.
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Old Jul 17th, 2014, 05:18 AM     #5
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Question Re: Lexophile

My doctor said I need glasses, I don't see why.
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Old Jul 17th, 2014, 10:48 AM     #6
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Re: Lexophile

GOOD!!!! Some really quick witted folks out there. Thanks I enjoyed reading them.

Say - did you ever see a horse fly?
Did you ever see a side walk?
IF Jimmy cracked corn and nobody cares - why did they make a song about it?
Oh they are very OLD I know - but dont hate - smile - they are all amusing.

Have a great and blessed day now.
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